I'm over it!
Mood:  chillin'
Wednesday I had my big Pharm School interview. I've been telling everyone that I think it went ok. In reality, I think it went ok, except I think I was interviewed by a bump on a log, one that does a lot of research in bacteriology and virology. I thought that my angle would be kind of cool going in there being an artist and a science-minded thinker, but it didn't really seem to impress either the bump on the log or the 1st year pharmacy student that was co-interviewing. He was really mellow and nice, but sort of uninvolved. Rest assured, I guarantee that if I ever get to the point where they are that I will put a lot more enthusiasm into the interview than either of them did. So here goes, I have folded the last of my figurative thousand paper cranes and sent them sailing, hopefully I will be blessed with a special gift come April when I find out that I have beat out 400 other hopefuls for a spot to bust my ass of 4 years straight. And if I don't get in its because God didn't want me there yet, or at least thats what I've been told. Don't get me wrong, it was a very warm sentiment and I appreciate it immensely, but its not exactly along my belief system. I think that the woman was right, to a point, in telling me that our skills and talents are bestowed upon our persons from before birth, but Who determines what you get and what about the wasted potential factor? There are a great many minds that go to complete pot because of unambitious peers or superiors, what about those people? Did God intend for them to waste their lives taking your change at the toll booth? I doubt it. And I'm not trying to knock anyones faith or disrespect any belief system, I'm just saying that I think that there are more factors than just the gift you were given and the set-in-stone road map of fate to navigate you through life.
Anyway, I promised myself that I would forget about it until closer to the time of decision so that I could function properly and focus on daily tasks without stressing out at every free moment of time that my mind came across. Now onto the lasting effects of Impetigo. It just doesn't end. It was bad enough I had to move my life around to fit this nasty little thing into my life, but the impact it has left in my life has taken me from super stud to super crud. Sorry ladies and gentlemen, more importantly the gentleman, there will be no pictures posted of this sad state of affairs. I chose to recover in solitude. I don't like to show my weaknesses, so instead I get it out by blabbing about it online like I'm doing. And I know I really shouldn't say this, but what the hell, its a new year, and its time to take some risks... I think the worst part is over and things will hopefully improve from here. Here is wishing the best to you and hoping that you are off to a great start to 2005, which in Chinese astrology, I think is the year of the raging bacteria, or at least it would be if it were up to me. Its a good thing its not. Gummi Out!

Damn its been a while
Mood:  on fire
Topic: New Years bang
...and to all my loving fans, hello. I'm still alive. I had a couple exciting things happen over the winter break. The first real big one was the Flu. Oh yeah baby. And I don't think that Ive ever had the flu because I honestly thought I was dieing of some ungodly disease. So that made my New Years really uneventful, I spent it on the couch with my parents and Nathan nearby. And shortly after the onset of the Flu was exciting thing number 2, Impetigo! Yeay! Impetigo, for those of you who don't know, is a bacterial infection of the skin most often caused by mutant strains of either Staphylococcus aureus or Streptococcus. In my case the bacterial infection of the skin took precedence on my face, in the area where I shave my facial hair, probably due to improper shaving techniques and unsanitary utility storage. That was really exciting, because of that I had to reschedule my interview with the college of pharmacy because my face looked like a disease ridden cactus, scabbed over and hairy because I couldn't shave. But things are returning back to normal. But not before exciting thing number 3! My cell phone took a plunge into the washing machine. I mean sure, it was clean as a whistle but nevermore would I see the blinding blue light of my little Motorola. I had no choice but to upgrade, which is good 'cause it keeps me hip with all the youngsters, but I had to leave the confines of my home still battling exciting thing number 2, and to make things worse, I couldn't find my Phantom of the Opera mask to cover my hideous complexion from the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter to the world and don't think for a second that I have a negative attitude towards all this. I really had a lot of fun with it. I don't consider myself a complainer, but when there is something to say, I don't hesitate. Anyway, I was kept hidden from the world for the first few weeks of the new year, and only now am I ready to come out. Hopefully I will have a really great year in 2005 considering my really crappy start. And I can't say that its all been bad, after all, I haven't had to leave the house for 3 weeks, its been a relaxing vacation in disguise. So to all of you who read this, I have a simple request, actually two simple requests. The first is, please call me or somehow send me your number as I lost them all in the wash. And 2, if you see me out and about, please don't flinch at my appearance as I have a little bit of residuals from the breakout but the doctor says it wont scar, and all the weight I've gained should come right off after I have no choice but to keep moving all day instead of sitting at home and watching TV. Oh I can't wait to resume my normal life. Look out 2005, I'm coming at you with a running start, a late running start, but its better than nothing...

Its alive...
Mood:  silly
...for those anxiously anticipating my next post, relax! You're turning blue in the face and you won't poop right for a week now. Don't cry for me Argentina, I survived the Fall street fair and now its time to brave the holidays. I am not broadcasting live from a satelite location, CasadeMora East, where I'm baby sitting for a week, then next week I will brave new territory when I renew my Honorary Lesbian License and Doggysit Daphne's dogs while She goes home for the holidays. Double bonus! Worry not Diva, Daddy still loves you and is confident that at least your grandmother is taking good care of you. I can't speak for grandpa, for all I know he could be trying to kill you. Just to be safe, I would make sure and pester him as much as possible at night like I'm sure you are doing. That way you will wear down his energy and leave him too exhausted to follow through with a plot to kill you.
To all that still check this sight regularly, Hello. and to all that don't, um, no big loss I guess. It would still be nice of you to at least send money in place of your love and affection. SHESSH!
Oh well, everyday can't be a winner. Take care all.

This falls fashion tips...
Hello all good Tucsonans and others who may have found my blog, I have done some research over the past few days and feel inspired enough to share with you all my collected wisdom in Comso fashion adviser format. Ok, I'm no Kerry Bradshaw but I know a good fashion tip when I see one, so here goes.
Fall tip #1 Run, jump, swim, dive, or use some other form of mechanical coordinated movement in order to get your goopy goober buns to the theater and see the Sponge Bob Square pants movie. I did, and it was a blast. I thought that I would be out of place so I went with a friend from work, and as it turns out, there was no need for a buffer. The entire theater was filled with adults there to see Sponge Bob, in fact, I think the first 2 rows were filled with filthy pirates...Anyhow, this will help to even out those creepin crows feet and help shrink those gaping pores by resorting to a youthful state of mind, and even if it doesn't the laughing will do you good and the movie lighting is low enough to make you seem more attractive to a prospective mate.
Fall tip #2 Keep organized! And if you aren't, then you better getchu some. Feel free to choose any method or device that might enhance your potential by keeping things orderly, palm pilots, date books, steel cabinets with manila folders, if you opt for the personal assistant, make sure that he knows what he is doing, and if not, at least make sure that he looks cute while trying to figure out what he should be doing. Whatever you choose get it together cause savvy is in this season.
Fall tip #3 Watch out for Brians! I know that every new fall season comes wrought with its own menacing obstacle, and this season I truly believe that the obstacle is embodied in those born under the name Brian. Beware of these Wiley fellas. However enticing they might appear Gummi Joe suggests that unless you are an experienced user, you should steer clear of these commodities, at least until next season when the watchword resumes with the 'Chris's'. Yes folks, this is one accessory best worn well or not at all. Don't be fooled my their initially pleasant demeanor, there is a geyser of trouble to be tapped when these sleeping giants are awakened, or better yet, aroused.
So in recap, go see Sponge Bob, getchu some organization, and do or don't the 'Brian's.
Eggplant is the new black, Beehives are over, crack whore makeup is slightly over done, and Cardigans Cardi-Can!
In the paraphrased words of Bucky the Cat, '...tell them its good and jack up the price before they can form an opinion of their own.'

A very special day...
Mood:  amorous
...A beginning of an era,
revelations unfurled,
something special happened,
when you entered this world,

A light for some,
a force for others,
your presence always felt,
one way or another.

A force for some,
for me it was love,
I am thankful for you,
I can't say it enough.

Exit youth, enter wisdom,
beauty is refined,
you're more lovely than ever,
and your just twenty-nine.

so much fire emitted,
yet still a spark left aglow,
Happy birthday to Nathan,
from your loving friend, Joe.

Body Count and The Answer
Mood:  irritated
To all of those who regularly read this blog in hopes of finding a more optimistic point of view from a very jaded society, I encourage you to look away from todays post, for it is not an easy pill to swallow. NO, I mean it, stop here and come back tomorrow if you are not interested in details of my sex life. Ok fine.
In response to certain members of the gay community of Tucson's personal viewpoints, or should I say stereotypes, of what a person of my stature/demeanor/orientation/size/type/insert-your-own-attribute-here should do with his body, I have decided to list, in chronological order every person that I have ever shared more than an innocent kiss with, if ya know what I mean...
1. Jeffery B. c.1994
2. Bobby H. c.2000
3. Nathan S. 2000-
4. Ernest J. c.2001
5. Tobey c.2002
6. Paul D. c.2003
7. Richard W. c.2003
8. Tom D. c.2003
9. Chris R. c.2004
10. B.C R. c.2004
11. Jacob R. c.2004
12. Mike TPDGU c.2004
13. Carlos S. c.2004
14. Rick H. 7-4-2004
15. Andrew B. c.2004

There you have it. 15 partners in 10 years. That calculates out to an average of one and a half partners per year, way under the average I'm sure, not that I'm concerned with that, and certainly not half of Tucson, and definitely not networked across the globe. So for all of those Dubious, Over-assumptious, Presumptuous, Envious, Sycophants out there, and you know who you are, you 'dopes', I say to you "FUCK OFF", or better yet, "GET FUCKED", cause it sure won't be me and maybe after you get a good piece of whatever it is you're after, you can take enough interest in your own pathetic lives to stop wasting time putting mine down. Not that I owe an explanation to anyone, but I actually do have standards that must be met in selecting a sex partner. It's taken some time to clarify them in my own mind, but I know they were always there, despite the fact that youthful ignorance is blinding. My selectiveness of partners is like a fierce zephyr, invisible to all but its commander, yet strong enough to sail great ships across the sea. My own pursuit of interests takes me to some foreign places sometimes, but I remain true to my desires and I am very much capable of acting as my own internal-watchdog/whistle blower.
It saddens me that as much as we are marginalized as members of the homosexual community of Tucson, that rather than unite and support , we choose instead to sit around and find the most gossip laden bean bag and play hot-potato in our overlaying social circles until it has been spread all over town like a bad rash. This is so not what we need people! What the hell ever happened to genuine sincere relationships between friends? Why does even the idea of sex spoil them so much? Can anyone see the bigger picture here? Perhaps this is an eye opener for me. I have found it unimaginably difficult to maintain friends with any gay males either because of sex, the topic of sex, or the lack of sex. This is not to say that there are not other factors at play here. I'm trying to present myself in the least-biased light possible given the fact that I am representing myself in this case. Believe it or not, sex is not at the tip top of my priority list. I've had it, it was fun, but I am looking for something else now. Thats not to say that I wont do it again, but I really am starting to feel an aversion towards it due to the manifestation of some unwelcome ramifications. It seems like people willing to accept change, in themselves primarily, and in the rest of the world eternally. Given a strong enough desire, one person can strive to evolve, to become better, to live freer. It doesn't happen over night, but with effort it can happen. I have seen in my short time here, some amazing transformations. I have also seen some major digressions, but I will not be one of those. I refuse to be dragged back down into this sand pit of despair. I will move beyond all this by being honest and sincere within myself first, and the rest of the world as a consequence. In summation, Thank you all who have slept with me, thank you in advance to all of those who have yet to sleep with me, and as for those who haven't slept with me: thank you to all those who were honest about wanting to/not wanting to; shame on those who were dishonest about wanting to/not wanting to; and to all of those who were bitter or mean spirited about any above cases, get over it, its just sex.

Ring Tones and Star-Bellied Sneeches
Topic: Social status
What do ring tones and star bellied sneeches have to do with each other? well call me crazy but I had a thought today while listening to the radio. I know what you're thinking, "No way!" right? No, way dude, way. Most of the time the radio either has you singing along mindlessly or all wrapped up in what those funky-fresh "hip" morning dj's are raving all about. This morning was different, well not really, but for the sake of a point I'm going to say it was. I heard a commercial about getting your personalized ring tones. I thought to myself "why would I want to do that?" Then I thought "oh yeah, so I can stand out,...just like everyone else." I remember back when I was in middle school we made fun of the bus driver for having a pager because back in the late 80's when I was in middle school the only people who had pagers were pimps and pushers. Then for a while, everyone had one. That was phase one. I'm going to go ahead and start drawing the parallels to the sneeches here. Phase one for the sneeches started when Sylvester McMonkey McBean came to town and promised the plain-bellied sneeches a little slice of the social-acceptance pie for a small price. It became so enticing that all the previously plain-bellied sneeches now had stars, just like the original star-bellied sneeches. Back to reality, after the pager hype was over, and this was about high school for me, then began the cell phone craze. At first only the well off kids had them, but eventually everyone and their grand-mama had one. Now even kids in elementary schools have them. That one-uping mentality encompasses phase 2. Phase 2 for the sneeches arose when the original star-bellied sneeches felt not-so-special anymore and hunted for a solution to again elevate their social status from the rest of the common folk back to that elitist plateau high above. The answer, two stars. It seems like such a repetitive cycle. Someone keeps coming up with ideas to sell that will make you seem cool and stand out even if only for a little while. That little while being as long as it takes everyone else to catch on that you are trying to stand out and gather enough revenue to stand out with you. We really should take a hint from the sneeches. The only person that won in that game was Sylvester McMonkey McBean because he robbed the sneeches blind of their money and laughed all the way to the bank. (Hey Tanya, the underpants stealing gnomes were right, phase 3 really IS profit!) I just know the masterminds of Altell, Verizon, and AT&T make their predecessors watch Dr.Seuss' Star-bellied Sneeches to ensure that they have the mentality down to keep their fat cat corporations going! Well they won't get my money for the newest Missy E ringtone, thats for sure. I'm on to their game. Call me stubborn but I'm not going to pay 3$ so that when I get a call and I'm in the grocery store I can hold my head up proudly because my phone is ringing Butilicious. What the hell does butilicious even mean by the way? Yeah, not my idea of status symbol. I would rather be recognized for something that I earned and that means something to me. Sometimes it just hurts to think about these things. I guess sometimes its easier to just unplug and go along with what mainstream media tells us is cool. I'm sure there is a happy medium, but for now I'm going to the extreme, no ringtones for me. I'm going on personal protest of those pushy heartless capitalistic commercials, my phone will remain on vibrate in remembrance of those poor acceptance-hungry sneeches. May we all learn to recognize unhealthy behavioral patterns and stop them before they hurt us.

Funky Cheese, and coming into my bloging rythm
Mood:  quizzical
... and just 'cause I can't remember as well as you doesn't mean that I don't still know how to play hard ball. Well ok, yes it does, but when the hell do I ever talk confidently about politics? 25 years old and I'm still riding those fences, maybe one day I'll come to my senses and drive myself home. Whatever, I've got my reasons. these things they please me, but no harm seems to come. Ok, I'm not a desperado either, but I do like to be tricky about things every now and then, like saying that I'm going to bog consistently and then not posting for weeks on end. Sporadic, inconsistent, containing no rhyme or reason. Crazy, I know. Little does everyone else know, I'm a wild spirit who lives his life with the mute button on most of the time. It makes me feel empowered because I like to keep people guessing. Unless you can read minds you don't know what I didn't say. So what does this have to do with anything intelligible? I don't know, I just know it feels good to say it and let some of the crazy out and make room in my head for more new crazy thoughts. Thats all the crazy I care to give for now. Thanks for shopping, please pull forward...

Happy Birthday to me!!
Mood:  celebratory
what more needs to be said...

Its Alive!
Mood:  lazy
Finally, I have found the energy, the energy that flows, the energy that drives, the energy to post again. Ok, so it was more than a week that I was away, it was mental reprieve from some mucho brain rattling test. By the way I'm sure I did better this time around, though I won't know for sure for a month or so. So what do I do for a month? Wait impatiently by the mailbox? SHEA! as if! I keep on living the vida loca. Last night was the night before Halloween, a HUGE gay holiday! We started out at some party where the best costume was a small girl in a scooby doo costume, second best being a Musketeer, and best attitude going to Nathan for his broadway worthy portrail of a pimp. Sorry Nathan, no one was your ho's. Later we went to IBT's for the rest of Ajia's drag show and a surprise visit by some friends dressed up as women, and who could forget Frida Kahlo, she was there too. As if that enough, my friend Joe tipped up off to another party in a neighborhood that I cant recall where exactly it was. Anyway, that was the most fun. I saw lots of interesting costumes there, like and , and a Bam-Bam all grown up. I also saw a sailor, lots of vampires and fairies. Elai, I don't know what you were supposed to be but you were the bomb. Apparently we were on the same party circuit as the rest of Tucson because it seems that everyone ended up at this house party. The Musketeer, the Republican Bush women, Us...well not everyone, enough to make it inter sting. I had a lot of fun and was able to pass myself off as the average Joe, or brown trash. I saw Andrew Bush involved in a lovers quarrel with the sailor and I saw Bam-Bam getting a "bumpy" ride. Zoolander was there in the garage taking care of Raggedy Ann who'd had too much to drink, and the Musketeer keep hinting that I take my clothes off. Oh how I love Halloween, or do I love being around gay men. Luckily, last night had both elements.