Ring Tones and Star-Bellied Sneeches
Topic: Social status
What do ring tones and star bellied sneeches have to do with each other? well call me crazy but I had a thought today while listening to the radio. I know what you're thinking, "No way!" right? No, way dude, way. Most of the time the radio either has you singing along mindlessly or all wrapped up in what those funky-fresh "hip" morning dj's are raving all about. This morning was different, well not really, but for the sake of a point I'm going to say it was. I heard a commercial about getting your personalized ring tones. I thought to myself "why would I want to do that?" Then I thought "oh yeah, so I can stand out,...just like everyone else." I remember back when I was in middle school we made fun of the bus driver for having a pager because back in the late 80's when I was in middle school the only people who had pagers were pimps and pushers. Then for a while, everyone had one. That was phase one. I'm going to go ahead and start drawing the parallels to the sneeches here. Phase one for the sneeches started when Sylvester McMonkey McBean came to town and promised the plain-bellied sneeches a little slice of the social-acceptance pie for a small price. It became so enticing that all the previously plain-bellied sneeches now had stars, just like the original star-bellied sneeches. Back to reality, after the pager hype was over, and this was about high school for me, then began the cell phone craze. At first only the well off kids had them, but eventually everyone and their grand-mama had one. Now even kids in elementary schools have them. That one-uping mentality encompasses phase 2. Phase 2 for the sneeches arose when the original star-bellied sneeches felt not-so-special anymore and hunted for a solution to again elevate their social status from the rest of the common folk back to that elitist plateau high above. The answer, two stars. It seems like such a repetitive cycle. Someone keeps coming up with ideas to sell that will make you seem cool and stand out even if only for a little while. That little while being as long as it takes everyone else to catch on that you are trying to stand out and gather enough revenue to stand out with you. We really should take a hint from the sneeches. The only person that won in that game was Sylvester McMonkey McBean because he robbed the sneeches blind of their money and laughed all the way to the bank. (Hey Tanya, the underpants stealing gnomes were right, phase 3 really IS profit!) I just know the masterminds of Altell, Verizon, and AT&T make their predecessors watch Dr.Seuss' Star-bellied Sneeches to ensure that they have the mentality down to keep their fat cat corporations going! Well they won't get my money for the newest Missy E ringtone, thats for sure. I'm on to their game. Call me stubborn but I'm not going to pay 3$ so that when I get a call and I'm in the grocery store I can hold my head up proudly because my phone is ringing Butilicious. What the hell does butilicious even mean by the way? Yeah, not my idea of status symbol. I would rather be recognized for something that I earned and that means something to me. Sometimes it just hurts to think about these things. I guess sometimes its easier to just unplug and go along with what mainstream media tells us is cool. I'm sure there is a happy medium, but for now I'm going to the extreme, no ringtones for me. I'm going on personal protest of those pushy heartless capitalistic commercials, my phone will remain on vibrate in remembrance of those poor acceptance-hungry sneeches. May we all learn to recognize unhealthy behavioral patterns and stop them before they hurt us.