Ok this time its on!!!
So usually I don't post for a long period of time because I am a slacker of sorts, but this time I slack with reason. I am studying to take a major life changing test this Saturday. I will be run up against everyone else taking this test in order to see who is the mentally fittest and ready to enter the next level of scholastitude! (Wow, scholastitude, its so Don King!)Anyway, I've taken this test before and fallen dead center which means I'm smarter than half the people taking this test, but also dummer than the other half. Ha, Its not really a question of intelligence, its more of a test of information retention, which might sound the same, but is vastly different. Anyway, I am excusing myself from my regularly scheduled activities this week in order to thoroughly prep myself so as to be at the apex of my mental capacity. I will not be drinking any soda at all, which will be tough but I know I can do without the gallstones! Also I will be steering clear of those late hours I keep. I wont be going out at all during the week, and no "extracurricular" activities, not that I do that much anyway, and you wont see me busting out with my funky chicken at any karaoke bars around town this week. Sorry Miss Jackson(Nez/Shoun/Trudeau/Whitmer/Mullen/Broan/Henderson), I am for real. I got lots of refreshing to do and we're not talkin' Irish spring baby! To all my friends and otherwise, Wish me luck on my spiritual journey, I'll see ya in a week.

Tripod links are the devil....
ok, just when I have an awesome little posting all typed out and ready to go, I get this crazy idea that I could sent it over the top by adding a link to the post. In my head I think i just had a stroke of genious, but when I get down to the nuts and bolts, I think Im just having a stroke. For some odd reason, Either my CPU is too slow or my connection is bad, my most witty post has been lost in the gapping vortex of cyberspace. FUCK!
Well, here is my best shot at a recap of myself!


Has it really been since last week that I posted. sometimes time just flies by without us noticing and before we know it, there are these massive gaps between common events. Like how long has it been since I have been hit on through the drive-thru at work? who hits on a pharmacy technician through the drive-thru? It was a boy named Jay. I didn't remember who Jay was until about 10 minutes after he so suavely slipped me his number and drove off. He used to drive a limo. I remember one time a bunch of us hopped in and tried to track down some cute boy from out of town that we saw on the sidewalk sale in his limo. If that doesnt help to decipher which way is up for me then there's no hope...
Another occurance that happened today that hasn't happened in a while is that everyboy I know, make that anyone I know, came to see me at work today. How exciting! Actually it was just Nathan and Richard. Richard caught me with my pants down so to speak. I had shoved a huge piece of chocolate into my mouth right before I saw him walk up, and before I could swallow slippery Dick was gone! Thank you both for the akward, yet, well-intentioned moral support.
So besides that, its been a while since I have been to McKale center. In fact its been so long that I can't remember whether the last time I was there was to go to a basketball game there a billion years ago, or if I took my 300-student General Bioloy Final there at 8 am, also a billion years ago. Anyway, this time I went to go see Michael Moore. I can't think of enough good stuff to say about him, I think I will save it for my shout-out page though. I would like to thank Karen, my friend at work, for having an extra ticket and for telling me about the whole spectacle. Being there felt like watching history in the making, it really felt like such a momentous and significant occasion in my life. How fantastic. I was talking to my Republican boss about Michael Moore (whom he can't stand by the way) and he said that he would be very dissapointed in me if I didn't go to see some other speaker who was coming to the UofA for a counterpoint. I can't remember the name of this speaker, but it's ok, I wasn't planning on going anyway. It's not that I don't care what people think of me, oh wait, that plays a huge part, but I just don't think I should have to sit through that. Afterall, I didn't see my boss at the Mchael Moore Expose among the small clan of ferril republicans present. They were quite revolting in many tenses. I believe myself to be a fairly fair person and if you set an expectation for me then I expect you to meet the same or an equivalent expectation or else all bets are off. Grrr...
oh, one last rare occurence, I haven't had Miss Saigon in a while. I always love Mi Ga Ca. I can never remember what it is, but its always a slice of heaven, especailly when served with a cool glass of coconut milk tea, WITHOUT the little black tapioca balls of death, thank you!

Today is a great day
Mood:  celebratory
Of course I would love to have that attitude every day but it simply isn't done. goodness, there just isn't enough serotonin to go around. One of the reasons that I'm extremely happy today is that fact that I spoke with the volunteer coordinator at Odyssey Hospice today and it looks like I will be volunteering there. It might seem morose to some, but it seems like a really great deal. Sure people are going to die, but you get to help make sure that they appreciate and hopefully enjoy life all the way to the end.Of course I don't understand it fully, but Bruce sent me home with a dictionary of paperwork (not joking) to read before our next scheduled meeting. And I hate to read, but I honestly don't mind now because it's for a great cause. I recently saw my own mortality and looked it in the eye, its was scary but it made me appreciate what I have and has enlivened my outlook on life. Its a fantastic day and I hope that you stop and notice every once in a while. Before I forget, Michael, I started your painting, it looks great so far. Much love to all.

Thats what friends are for...
Mood:  lucky
Ive said it before and Ill say it again, I love my friends. I would do almost anything for them, including giving them the shirt off of my own person, and I say that only because it has happened before. Yes, anyone who can stand to put up with my mood swings and passive aggressive beauty queen complex is ok in my book. Better, you deserve an award. So, like I may have said, I probably said some really nasty things to some of my friends on Saturday night, granted it was under the influence of that damned Fire Water, but they still came out of my mouth. Momma Mora says that real friends look past one little slip up cause they know who you really are. I hope that is the case. I know at least half of the people I verbally accosted think I'm just swell. One in particular is Shawna. She is the best fag hag, I think everyone should get one, they are great for emotional support and they really help you get back in touch with your inner child. After all, who could talk you into putting on a big furry cat mask in the middle of a Target filled with hot men solely for the purpose of taking a picture? A fag hag, thats who. Cheers to all those who still choose to call me a friend, and another cheers to those friends who still call me.

Sometimes you feel like an ass...
Mood:  don't ask
A quick recap of this weekend, My friends and I all gathered together and headed up to Phoenix on Saturday night. In-N-Out burger was great as always. We all met some new friends there, well most of us. I remember getting trashed and flirting with strangers. I don't however remember pissing off everyone so badly. I had to hear it today from Nathan who was kind enough to remind me what exactly what I did say. I think Izaak said it best when he said "you are brutally honest when you are trashed". I offended every one in my happy little group in some way, and I wont lie, it felt fantastic while I was doing it, but I feel like a total ass today. Those who I did not apologize to already I have ventured to steer clear of until I can formulate a good approach to taking it on. How will I live this down?
I spent the later half of Sunday hanging out with Shawna, who I apologized to profusely. She really is a great sport. We checked out all the hot commodities that the Home Depot had to offer. We went looking for lesbians and found hunky men everywhere. Later, we made our guest appearance at karaoke at IBT's, I sang "Funkytown" horribly. Tonight's karaoke adventure also saw the return of Adrian. He was welcomed with an applause and performed "I touch myself" as only he could.
If I take anything away from this weekend, it would be that I should never drink so much again, and if I do, I should not be around people that I know so much about if I am going to drink myself silly, and if I am going to drink and do plan on being around people that I know a lot about then I should check to make sure that they are the ones that I don't like. I might also think about passing out some release waivers beforehand. I guess this weekend was a lesson in my own limits. Please excuse me whilst I craw into my rabbit hole and stay there for a while.

Lady Tucson and a Blind Date.
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: Blind dates
I'm seriously retarded. Let me just get that out of the way. And you, whoever you are that reads this, don't need me to confirm this fact. You need but read some of my recent postings where I, well, just sound retarded. I will give yesterdays post the extra special award for being overtly all around strange, but will not forget to give an honorable mention to the 4 hours of sleep that got me there.
I left the house with only the best intentions yesterday morning. I intended to be cheery, I intended to see the Panchesco gallery, I intended to sound coherent, and I intended to be patient. I don't know about you, but 1 out of 4 just isn't done in the land of Dairy Queen. This called for corrective action. I sentenced myself to a suitable punishment; I was to be sent on a blind date with myself. It started after I got out of work, I went to pick up my blind date but I found that he was already waiting for me in my car. He was handsome yes, but being exactly on time? A little freaky, not to mention he is obviously a master locksmith or car thief. He came highly recommended but didn't talk much and he sure was hung up on that damn Janet Jackson CD. We decided to rent a movie at Casa Video. I'll say this about my blind date, he has an awkward taste in movies. We chose Exit to Eden with Rosie O'Donnell and a slew of hunky men. Maybe I'm just jaded but what did they do in the 90's for plot? Did they use a tofu based filler until they found that people actually could tell the difference between Folgers and the impostor? Anyway, I found myself laying there in my bed with my blind date, thinking about what a disaster today was, and how to top it off I let a guy into my bed after the first date. Nothing keeps things in perspective quite like finding out that you are easy on a blind date with yourself. After that the sentence was fulfilled and I was allowed to spend the rest of the night comfortably at home in bed. So again, I would like to attribute my bitchy, aloof, retarded behavior on the fact that Joe doesn't handle interrupted sleep schedules well. I hope that Tucson still loves me when I wake up tomorrow cause I sure copped an attitude with her today.

A new beginning
Mood:  not sure
It is now the beginning of a new month. I am so glad to see September go. It really was the most trying month of my life as of yet. I dare not awake sleeping dragons so I will leave it be for now. Needless to say this is the beginning of a new month and hopefully more promising times for me. Coming up this month I will be taking the PCAT test, its the test you take to tell what sort of a pharmacy student you would be. I personally think I would make a great one, but sometimes I have doubts. I suppose we don't get anywhere in life if we don't struggle to achieve. I guess that is my chosen struggle, well that and keeping the fat Mexican gene in check. I don't want to loose track of my toes, I don't want floorboards to squeak when I walk over them. I want to be fabulous, I guess that is my highest aspiration of all. What a high standard. Who can be fabulous all the time? Maybe I should take this month to define "fabulous" and see what it really is that I'm after. I know of a lot of people that would like to know exactly that from me, including me.
Much love to all of Tucson, happy beginning of the weekend.

Its been 8 years
Mood:  caffeinated
Wow, maybe not 8 years, but it has been a long time since I last washed under there. Ok dirty. What I really mean is that I haven't update in a long time, but its nice to have a place to call home for all my random thoughts, and believe me, there is no organization going on upstairs whatsoever right now. Its really a bad thing but I need a little break before I go head first into my diabolically ingenious plan to take over the world, one manila folder at a time. Isn't that how people stay organized nowadays? Maybe thats a bit dated. Ok then, how about one palm pilot at a time? yeah, that has a ring to it. Today was fun. I awoke on my queen sized slice of heaven (bed) and didn't feel like an old man. My newest friend Andrew invited me with him to go and see his chiropractor. 5 minutes and a little snap, crackle, and pop later I felt like a new man. That carried over into today. I felt on top of the world. I have a couple of things on my agenda for this week already. I am planning to go and see my friend Laurie play baseball tomorrow. I Love Laurie. If I could think of the sweetest person I know, it would probably be her. Then on Thursday I plan on having a big SEX night with my Thursday night friends. Allow me to explain. We are all getting together at Jamie's house to have pizza, tequila. and watch Sex and the City. Hey it keeps us off the streets. Oh what fun!

The Bacterial Flora of Humans
Mood:  mischievious
So after a cooling period of a couple days after this weekends MIShap, I have decided to once again post, though things are a bit out of sequence as I have already finished my homework and don't have that blade swinging dangerously close to my head. I find that pressure helps to keep me focused. If I don't set a deadline I may never get done. Take into consideration my art show, it was supposed ot happen this summer, but didn't. Why? well, there were several factors but ultimately I wasn't concrete enough in setting my goals for such an event. I let things go and I should have really grabbed the reins and took hold of the situation. Anyway, now that things aren't so crazy and my immediate environment has returned to a gentle state of HOMOstasis, I feel that I can give more attention to my methods and actually accomplish one of my many goals someday. I fear going down in the history books as a dreamer. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, I always run into this ceiling that inhibits me from expanding my horizons. Its sort of like the natural bacteria in the body that are there to protect the body from more serious infection. They don't ever get too big, they are just always there. (had to find a tie in to the title) I am not going to just be here, I am going to leave my mark, somehow, some way, I am going to be significant to someone to something. I'm going to be a Sears underwear model. Women will lust over me, gay men will drool, and I will sleep on a huge pile of money with many a pool boy. There I go dreaming again, maybe I was meant to just exist afterall...Ponderous.

What is Tucson all about?
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Tucson
Ahh, another tranquil day in the life of Joe. I am happy in general, as always, yet somehow limited. The somehow being financially. I have money, I just cant touch it until Monday for reasons I dare not say. I hate feeling like my assets are frozen, which is sort of how I felt all month. I want to soar with the eagles and be free, but I must be patient and allow certain things (classes, men, tests) to run their course. Oh well, there is always something bright and shiny to distract me. Today is Dominick's birthday. He is a secretively cute by that regularly attends the coffee clutch on Saturdays at the Rainbow Planet Coffee house. There will be fun and festivities and even a semi-formal dinner. I overuse the prefix semi- because after all, we are in Tucson, the most casual city in the southwest. Only in Tucson will you see attendees of the Phantom Of The Opera wearing wife-beaters and flip-flops. Only here will you see obvious spray-on tans displayed proudly by those pigmentally challenged that they only burn and do not tan. In our little city (ha!) you will see backwards-turned ball caps at semi-formal restaurants and not give them a second thought because they blend in so well. Is it sad? I don't know, its just on of those intricacies that makes Tucson so special. I just say that because most of the year its too hot to care. I believe that to be the general consensus though...