what i my issue?
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Silence
I wish someone could tell me, but I know that I am the only one that can answer that question. I'm so confused as to what to do. This guy that I am totally crazy for and is probably totally crazy for me, doesn't seem to fit in my wavelength. I know that I am, more than anything, a subtle person by nature, but that it no way spells out simple and boring. But being around this guy makes me feel more than just a little bit of both. It's like I'm trying to catch up to a speeding train on foot. And that would be challenge enough but also it seems that this run away train knows how to and is avidly jumping tracks. I have no control over it and I'm using up all my tricks to try and distract it from moving while I try and get my footing. I feel like I've entered an alternate universe where running means my feet are pinioned, and no action means I will die slowly and horribly in the quicksand. Its a dangerous place to be, and I'm still not sure I'm totally welcome, but I am here because some part of me wants to be and keeps tapping me on the shoulder every time I want to quit and tells me that its going to be worth it in the long run. I wonder if this is how Nathan felt when we first started dating? I wonder if I seemed impossible at times and that he at certain points got so frustrated that he could have walked away and ended it. Something tells me that history is totally slapping me in the face with that AP Government text book that I never opened. I knew I should have studied harder. I have plenty of that coming my way in less than 2 weeks. I just hope and prey that it doesn't leave me a social cripple and dead to the world. Pharmacy school is totally freakin me out but it promises to make a smart man out of me. Well, I'm in it this far, only a true fool would tun back now. Wish me luck all.